EMPOWERED

I wonder sometimes if I’m damaged by my past. People always say things like get over it, like it’s an easy thing to do. I really want to say (don’t you think if I could get over it I would). However, I don’t say anything because I know that they will never understand. I don’t like feeling this way yet I cannot control it, if I could I would in a heartbeat. I can sit around and fake it, pretend that I am happy. I have been doing that for far too long. It’s not right for you to pretend like I don’t have feeling because I do. I have so many feeling that I need to deal with. Yet I am worried about dealing with them because I don’t want to be judged by you or anyone else. Yet I can no longer worry about you and your judgmental ways. I will no longer live a lie I have to be true to myself not to you. Because at the end of the day I am the one that will have to look at myself in the mirror. I am the one that will have to live with my regrets.  I am the one that lies awake at night and wonder why. Meanwhile you’re able to sleep all night long. While I am wide awake wonder what did I do wrong. I know now that all of this is my fault, because I let what you think control me. I cannot and will not allow this to happen any longer.

FROM THIS POINT ON I WILL BE THE ONLY ONE THAT WILL HAVE CONTROL OVER ME.

I DON’T GIVE A DAMM WHAT YOU THINK BECAUSE IN MY WORLD I AM THE ONLY ONE THAT MATTERS NOT YOU. I AM NOT DAMAGED I AM EMPOWERED TO BE THE PERSON THAT I SHOULD HAVE BEEN ALL ALONG.

So, while I able to sleep at night, you will be the one lying awake, wondering how I can be so strong and how you can become as strong as me.

HEATHER J

THE EMPOWERED ONE